Why I’ll Never Get Over Losing My Mom

///Why I’ll Never Get Over Losing My Mom

Why I’ll Never Get Over Losing My Mom

I really struggled with what to post today.

I had a regularly scheduled recipe planned, but I couldn’t bring myself to keep on schedule like today is just like any other day.  Today is the anniversary of the day my life got turned upside down.  It’s the anniversary of my Mom’s death.

I know.

I know.  It’s a major downer– and I pride myself in keeping this site very positive and upbeat.  Thank you for letting me stray off course today.

MY LATEST VIDEOS

Running in a Skirt was just a baby when I lost her… less than sixth months old and I wrote almost exclusively about running.  I had just finished writing about the Chicago Marathon.  I never intended for this site to take such a personal turn, but I wrote about her passing and it brought me great comfort.   It was a turning point for this site and my life on so many levels.  On the first anniversary of her death I wrote about 50 amazing life lessons she taught me.  I love going back to read that post because it allows me to feel closer to her.  Last year, I wrote a post on coping with the loss of your parent.

I felt like if I had something to offer you, I could still write about her on this day each year.

Mom and Julie teenager

This year I don’t have anything pin-worthy or headline grabbing.  There may or may not be any lessons or takeaways.  I just wanted to share.

I wish you guys would have had a chance to know her.  She was my person.  She was understated, kind, incredibly intelligent and all Southern.  She spoke with a slight drawl that she never lost even after living thirty years in Florida.  She loved sunny days, wearing red, reading thick paperback books and finding a great deal shopping.  She was passionate about education and worked tirelessly as a high school guidance counselor.  She never left the house without looking perfectly together.  But above all else, she loved my Dad and her children.  She was always worried about my brother and I.  I’d beg her not to worry… that I was a grown up and could take care of myself… and she’d say “That’s like asking me not to breathe.”

Mom and baby Julie

No one but a Mom says something like that.  I never doubted how much she loved me and that she would do anything for me.

That’s why I will never get over losing my Mom.  A parent’s love is irreplaceable in your life.

Yes, I’ve moved past it.  I’ve accepted it.  I’ve dealt with the loss.  I’m ok.

Mom, Dad and Julie Wedding

However, I don’t think I’ll ever stop reaching for the phone to call her when I have good or bad news.  I have moments I miss her so much I have to stop and catch my breath.  Certain memories still bring instant tears. I think of her when the sun shines and whenever I’m shopping.  When I see a butterfly frolicking along my running path in front of me, I think she is looking down on me smiling… guiding the way.

I don’t want to ever get over it.  I don’t want to lose those moments.  Those moments keep her alive in my heart.

I know a few of you have also lost a parent.  It’s a terrible club no one ever wishes for membership in.  Just know you aren’t alone.  We must move on and live our lives, but it’s ok to not be over it.  I don’t think it’s possible.Mom and Julie Biltmore Estate

For those of you with parents still living… call them for me today.  Tell them you love them.  Do it for me… and my Mom.

I’d love for you to learn even more about my Mom… 50 Life Lesson From My Mom.  I promise it will make you smile!

By | 2017-08-15T14:04:07+00:00 November 3rd, 2015|Friends & Family, Fun|64 Comments

64 Comments

  1. […] School when being vegetarian, vegan or pescatarian wasn’t that popular or common.  My poor Mom had no idea what to do when I came home from school and announced I wasn’t eating meat […]

  2. floatinggold September 13, 2018 at 10:47 am - Reply

    I can totally relate.
    I’m ok, but not over it, too.
    It’s just so weird.

  3. Laurie September 12, 2018 at 4:01 pm - Reply

    What a moving tribute to your mom! I can see why this one is your favorite! You are such a good writer. I feel like I am right there in the room talking to you when I read your post. Even though I lost my mom 10 years ago, and I don’t even have an answering machine anymore, I sometimes, for a moment, think when I walk in my house “Gotta check the machine to see if there are any calls from Mom”!

  4. Connie September 11, 2018 at 9:24 am - Reply

    “She was my person..” <— This is *exactly* what I've said about my mom. Out of everyone in the world, she was and is naturally my pick. I'd tell her that when she was alive, and since she passed this summer, it hasn't changed <3 I know this is an old post, but it struck me that we'd used the same phrasing.

    • JulieWunder September 12, 2018 at 2:21 pm - Reply

      I’m so sorry Connie! It’s a club no one wishes to go. It gets easier with time, but you never forget. xoxo

  5. […] have it in me to write a full post about it again… but to honor her please consider reading Why I’ll Never Get Over Losing My Mom & 50 Life Lessons from My Mom.  You can also make her famous Sweet Potato Casserole for […]

  6. […] been a couple of heavy days on the blog… thank you again for your support with the post about my Mom and yesterday’s post about my friend Melanie.  I can’t say it enough– you guys […]

  7. Nicki November 9, 2015 at 4:06 pm - Reply

    Julie – know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I just recently wrote – not nearly as much as you – about losing my mom as it was her birthday, the first since her death. It’s hard but has to get easier, right? I’ve also written about losing my dad frequently. I figure if no one wants to read it, they can just close the tab.

    • JulieWunder November 13, 2015 at 7:15 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much Nikki. My heart goes out to you too. Time heals, but it never goes away. Keep her memory alive. xoxo

  8. Rick Hill November 6, 2015 at 3:55 pm - Reply

    Julie: I can appreciate how you feel. My mom died when I was 19. As a teenager my mother contracted tuberculosis in the coal mine region of East Tennessee. She was always a stay-at-home mom because her health was not good. The week of the bicentennial (1976) she became sick. She had been ill for only a week. We didn’t realize she had a heart condition. I hate the fact I never really did much for her. When I had a few dollars, I spent it on myself. However, the last year of her life, I did do a few things for her. I took her to a John Denver concert. It was the last time she left our house until the morning she left in an ambulance. I miss her everyday.

    Rick Hill
    Astronomer

    • JulieWunder November 13, 2015 at 6:57 pm - Reply

      Oh Rick. I’m so sorry. You understand all too well. I’m sure your Mom knew how much you loved her.

  9. [email protected] November 4, 2015 at 9:09 pm - Reply

    I know how hard it is to lose a mother, Julie! I still miss my mom 20 years after her passing. We are blessed to have had the wisdom and love of our mothers and I know that they are still loving and caring for us in Heaven! Thanks for sharing your mom with us in your post.

  10. Melissa @ Freeing Imperfections November 4, 2015 at 9:46 am - Reply

    I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you share about this, so I’m glad you do. Your writing about her, though I’m sure painful and scary at times for you, is beautiful. It’s so apparent the love that you two shared.

    I haven’t lost someone as close as a parent, but I did lose someone very close to me when I was 19. I have also come to the understanding that I don’t want to get over it either, because then that person is no longer as important in your life. I’ve learned that grief never truly goes away. It’s more like a roller coaster. I used to fight it when things would remind me of that person, but now I let it wash over me in waves, realizing that this is how that person lives on in my life.

    I’m so sorry for your loss, but I hope you have those moments too, where she lives in your life through all the memories that surface.

    • JulieWunder November 4, 2015 at 8:57 pm - Reply

      I can’t thank you enough for the support. I too relish those moments and memories. xoxo

  11. Jess @hellotofit November 4, 2015 at 9:20 am - Reply

    Oh Julie, my heart reaches out to you! I appreciate your honesty and allowing yourself to simply write and reflect. Hugs and hugs for you. She sounds like a beautiful, loving, caring mother.

  12. Darlene Kimsey November 4, 2015 at 8:13 am - Reply

    I lost my Mom in March. But I really lost her a few years ago to Lewy Bodies Dementia. I will never get over the loss. i need her everyday. I take comfort in knowing she is with me in spirit and watching over me and my daughter. Thank you for posting this.

    • JulieWunder November 4, 2015 at 8:50 pm - Reply

      My heart goes out to you too Darlene. It is so hard. You are not alone!

  13. Rachel @ RachelMcMichael.com November 3, 2015 at 11:58 pm - Reply

    What a beautiful post and a truly authentic way to remember your mom. Words are escaping me as I try to comment because there’s absolutely nothing that I can write that sums up what I’m thinking. She sounds like she was an amazing woman, and my heart goes out to you!!

    • JulieWunder November 4, 2015 at 8:48 pm - Reply

      Thank you Rachel! I appreciate your support so much!

  14. Farrah November 3, 2015 at 11:58 pm - Reply

    I have had scares in the past, but I can’t imagine life without either of my parents. I am so, so sorry for your loss. :[ I honestly don’t even have the words to respond to this post. :[ Thank you for sharing this post. Sending you a lot of love and hugs today! <3

  15. Helly November 3, 2015 at 9:04 pm - Reply

    I work with someone in your family and she is absolutely amazing and if *she* is, I can just imagine how amazing your mom was <3 Thank you for sharing.

    • JulieWunder November 3, 2015 at 11:16 pm - Reply

      Thanks Helly 🙂 I appreciate it so much! And yes *She* is pretty awesome too 🙂

  16. Emily Smith November 3, 2015 at 6:27 pm - Reply

    What a beautiful post that brought me to tears. I feel exactly the same about losing my father. I am still blessed to have my mom and called her yesterday (from Mexico!) for her 81st birthday. I am going to be a basket case when I lose her.

    • JulieWunder November 3, 2015 at 11:16 pm - Reply

      Thanks Emily. We have to enjoy them as much as possible while they are here.

  17. Nicole @ Fitful Focus November 3, 2015 at 4:11 pm - Reply

    I am tearing up over here. I can’t imagine life without either of my parents. I know the day will come at some point, but I hope it will be in peace and of old age. To lose a parent when they are still young and full of life must be extremely difficult, and while I never knew your mom, I know that she is still alive in you and your family, and I know that she would be so proud of you.

    • JulieWunder November 3, 2015 at 11:14 pm - Reply

      Thank you Nicole for such kind words. I appreciate it so much!

  18. Mandi Korn November 3, 2015 at 1:59 pm - Reply

    Thanks for sharing this wonderful post about your mother. I envy your attachment and love for your mother, mine has not been as kind. I know though when I do loose her, she will be missed no matter what. Your mother was a beautiful woman and the way you speak of her is so loving and adoring and I know that probably influenced you, to who you are today. I can tell she was a great lady and the photographs you shared of her are fantastic.

    • JulieWunder November 3, 2015 at 11:14 pm - Reply

      Thank you Mandi. I feel very lucky to have had her while I did. I appreciate your support!

  19. Lisa Ballantyne November 3, 2015 at 1:31 pm - Reply

    Been where you are, Julie, and no, we never really get over losing our mothers. You have so many beautiful memories of a most beautiful lady, and I know you will treasure them always, just as I still treasure mine after Mama has been gone (cancer) since 1991. Thank you for being so candid and open. You and your mom were blessed to have one another. (((((Hugs)))))

    • JulieWunder November 3, 2015 at 11:13 pm - Reply

      Thank you Lisa! I appreciate the support. Lots of love your way too.

  20. Heather @Fit n Cookies November 3, 2015 at 1:07 pm - Reply

    Oh Julie, I remember reading your posts the last few years and I just send prayers and hugs your way! I am so so sorry you lost your mom so young. It doesn’t seem fair. I’m glad you talked about this today and I hope you get through the day! xoxo

    • JulieWunder November 3, 2015 at 11:12 pm - Reply

      Thanks Heather. I can’t say enough how much the blog and all of you guys help. xoxo

  21. Jaime November 3, 2015 at 12:46 pm - Reply

    I don’t think you ever get over losing a loved one – especially a parent. (I have a cousin who lost her son at age 3 and she struggles every day.) Sending a lot of hugs to you today.

  22. Lauren Gaskill | Making Life Sweet November 3, 2015 at 11:31 am - Reply

    “However, I don’t think I’ll ever stop reaching for the phone to call her when I have good or bad news. I have moments I miss her so much I have to stop and catch my breath.” Wow Julie. Reading this brought tears to my eyes. I haven’t lost a parent yet, but I know that is exactly how I will feel when it happens. Thank you for sharing a small glimpse of your mother with us. God bless you and continue to keep her memory alive! Praying for you today!!

    • JulieWunder November 3, 2015 at 11:11 pm - Reply

      Thanks Lauren! I really appreciate the support.

  23. Jamie November 3, 2015 at 11:05 am - Reply

    Thank you for posting this. I often times forget how hard it is to deal with my father’s death but then an anniversary or special day will come and I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. I am sending you lots of love and hugs today. xo

    • JulieWunder November 3, 2015 at 11:11 pm - Reply

      Thanks Jamie. I know those of us who have lost a parent all have those moments. Thanks for the support.

  24. Kristin Harmel November 3, 2015 at 10:35 am - Reply

    She loved you very, very much, Julie. She was a great woman, and my heart breaks for you that you and your family have to deal with this loss. Thinking of you today!! xoxo

  25. Renee November 3, 2015 at 9:53 am - Reply

    Beautiful Julie…sending you lots of thoughts and digital hugs today <3

  26. [email protected] November 3, 2015 at 9:47 am - Reply

    This is a beautiful post Julie! I know your Mama is looking down from Heaven and smiling. Your Mama sounds like a beautiful and amazing woman. I am so sorry that you lost her. I cannot imagine the pain of not having her in your life. Thoughts and prayers your way friend!

    • JulieWunder November 3, 2015 at 11:09 pm - Reply

      Thanks Heather. I really appreciate the support.

  27. Pragati // Simple Medicine November 3, 2015 at 9:19 am - Reply

    You honor your mother every day with your spirit. Keeping you in my thoughts and sending you lots of love, Julie.

  28. Dan Steadman November 3, 2015 at 9:07 am - Reply

    that was great very well written…..I still have both my parents, but lost my father-in-law just over 12 years ago, you never get fully over it. Thinking of you on this day

  29. Shelley Marcy November 3, 2015 at 8:29 am - Reply

    Our hearts break because we have loved and lost. Our saving grace is Jesus who paved a way to eternal life together with Him and those who know Him. Not only tell your parents that are living still that you love them, but have the conversation with your loved ones (and yourself )about trusting Jesus as your Lord and Savior. With Him in your life, you are never alone and life is eternal in a place where the meadows stay green, and the streets are gold.

    • JulieWunder November 3, 2015 at 11:08 pm - Reply

      So true and so beautiful. Thanks for the reminder Shelley.

  30. Lori November 3, 2015 at 8:28 am - Reply

    Thank you for sharing. My daughter-in-love struggles with these feelings also, as her mom passed when she was 17. Now she’s expecting her first baby, and this loss is felt deeply. Please – keep sharing your concerns and thoughts – it’s a good reminder for all of us. I’m sure a piece of your mom is reflected in the person YOU are today. (So I get to meet her… through you!)

    • JulieWunder November 3, 2015 at 11:07 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much Lori! Sending good thoughts to your daughter-in-law too.

  31. Susie @ SuzLyfe November 3, 2015 at 8:24 am - Reply

    I hope that you never get over losing your mom. I know that seems like a weird thing to say, but it is true: a mother’s love is unlike anything else. I just watched The Fault in Our Stars, and there is the comment that you learn to live with pain. That pain is real, but it reminds us of the real love that we felt, that we will always feel. It reminds us to continue to love.
    Thinking about you.

    • JulieWunder November 3, 2015 at 11:07 pm - Reply

      Thanks Susie. That movie really hit on a good point. Thanks for the reminder!

  32. Pam November 3, 2015 at 7:51 am - Reply

    Julie, I’ve got tears in my eyes and it’s too early in the morning for that!On December 17th, it will be 2 years since I lost my mom. I,too, go to pick up the phone to tell her things. We never get over the loss of a parent. I lost my dad 21 years ago. I’m an only child and most of my family are gone. Very scary,really. Anyway… celebrate your mom today and… each and every day,which, I know you do. Be good to yourself today…you have so many people that care about you! Hugs to you.

    • JulieWunder November 3, 2015 at 11:06 pm - Reply

      I feel for you Pam! My thoughts are with you too. Thank you so much for the kind words.

  33. Amanda November 3, 2015 at 7:14 am - Reply

    I can’t imagine losing a parent, and it’s definitely something you probably never really get over. She sounds like a wonderful woman!

  34. Susanna @Zealous Mom November 3, 2015 at 7:06 am - Reply

    Oh, Julie. My throat is thick with tears right now. What a beautiful post. I know she was so very proud of her beautiful, successful, kind and ambitious daughter. And she sounds like an absolutely amazing person. I will be thinking of and praying for you today, for peace and for the memories to say vibrant in your mind. Love and hugs to you, sweet friend!

  35. Allie November 3, 2015 at 6:38 am - Reply

    I am typing through tears. I lost my mom when I was 17 and now, at 40 I can honestly say I will never get over it. You wrote so many things I can relate to – reaching for the phone to call with good or bad news, a butterfly on the run, having a moment to stop and catch my breath because a memory comes rushing back – so many things that keep her memory alive. Now, as a mom myself, I find some of my most difficult days. I’ve stopped asking “why?” but I will never stop remembering and reliving all the days I had with her.
    Thank you for sharing this and, I know how hard anniversary days can be. Thank you for saying I’m not alone – neither are you!

  36. Blane Sherer November 3, 2015 at 5:54 am - Reply

    I’m glad that you shared your thoughts about your mom today.
    You will always remember this day. I think you came to realize
    with your blog that many of us care about you and we are very
    comfortable being here to support you. You are special to many
    of us.

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